Why are you so hard on yourself?

Most issues seem to come down to how harsh we are talking to ourselves inside.
Your inner critic is unkind.
You are the first to talk yourself out of what you can do.
There are still too few women leaders in companies!

We think we can’t. It’s too much. You’d have to sacrifice.
You can’t keep up. You’re not enough. You’re too this and not enough that.

If you have done years of personal development work your voice won’t be as loud.
It will just say “ehm no” or “yeah, whatever” or deem things impossible anyway cause ‘you know’.

I’ve noticed I don’t have much of an overt inner critic anymore, mine has become a subtle sneaky type.
Your shadow grows with you. At least that’s something you can rely on.

So why?!
We have been raised to NOT TRUST our emotions.
We have been conditioned into worshipping the rational and suppressing the emotional.
A cultivated society aims to be less animalistic and more aware, deliberate, cultivated.

Emotions in women have been pathologized.

Women have been diagnosed as hysterical.
Women who knew too much have been labelled witches and hunted down, burned at the stake.

Of course, there is a part in us that doesn’t feel safe being fully you.
Our goal has been for centuries to adapt to the powers so we can survive.

The part in you that wants to make sure you are safe is strong.
I think the inner critic is really just trying to fact-check reality.
Because we didn’t give it much thought, that part has an underdeveloped way of communication resorting to very basic personal attacks, complaints, blame and immature tantrum style behaviours.

What if instead, we nourished our reflective safe keeper to communicate more effectively?
How can we be kind to ourselves AND distinguished?
What if we taught the part of ourselves that wants us safe questions that empower and liberate, what impact will that have on your life and business?

PS: men have harsh inner voices too. ;-) it’s not been safe for men to be kind and ‘soft’ either.