What do I do with my Arms? And other Crises on Stage.

Body language isn’t just about how you look. It’s about whether people believe you.

🧠 When You’re Suddenly Made of Elbows

The lights come up.
You’re mid-sentence.
And your arms - formerly trusted colleagues - have quit.

They dangle.
They stiffen.
They flap like they’re trying to escape.

You stare at your own hands like you’ve never seen them before.
They seem… longer than usual?
What do people normally do with them?

Welcome to stage-induced body amnesia. A rite of passage. No one escapes it.

The Real Reason Your Limbs Go Weird

It’s not a personality flaw. It’s a nervous system in overdrive.

Studies show (Behnke & Sawyer, 2000) that even experienced speakers get a cortisol surge on stage. Your body, bless it, thinks you're under attack.

And so:

• Your fine motor skills go haywire.
• Your brain’s executive function gets hijacked.
• Your arms become confused spaghetti.

You overthink.
You overcorrect.
You try to hide the freak-out with a fake smile and a weird shoulder roll.

Which doesn’t work. Because the audience is reading your body like a subtext novel.

🤔 “Isn’t 93% of Communication Nonverbal?”

Not exactly. That stat - attributed to Albert Mehrabian - is only valid when your words and nonverbals contradict (e.g. saying “I’m fine” while clearly steaming). In those cases, people believe your tone and body over your words.

But even outside of contradiction, body language does this one crucial thing:
It determines credibility.

And people aren’t just listening to what you say.
They’re watching to see if you believe it.

 Backing Up on Stage? Looks Like Fear.

In my comedy training, we did an exercise I’ll never forget:
You cannot walk backward on stage.

Why?

Because it looks like you’re retreating.
Even if you’re just adjusting your stance, it reads as fear.

Try it. Watch someone slowly back up while talking and see how quickly your brain goes:
“Are they okay?”
“Why are they escaping?”
“Is there a fire behind me?”

It’s awkward. It’s disempowering.
And it kills the energy in the room.

But when a speaker plants their feet or moves forward with intention, something shifts.
Suddenly, they’re leading the moment.

✋ What the Hell Do You Do With Your Hands?

Let’s demystify this. Here’s what I teach my clients:

1. You’ll forget what your hands are for. Everyone does. Visibility feels vulnerable. and most of us aren’t trained for that. When you move past the initial panic,  this won’t be an issue. It will become an interesting experience.
2. Let the energy cycle. One of my favourite techniques comes from my dance teacher: hold four fingers of one hand with the other hand. It’s a chi gung move. It creates a loop, calms the body, and gives your hands something simple and intentional to do.
3. Gesture with meaning. Goldin-Meadow’s research shows that gestures help you think. They don’t just help your audience - they offload your cognitive load. So let your hands paint, slice, emphasize. They’re there to help you land.

🔄 From Mic-Clutching to Magnetic Presence

I’ve helped awkward singers transform into confident performers with six-figure record deals. Not because they suddenly “acted professional.” But because they stopped clutching the mic stand like it was a flotation device and started leading with their body.

They moved like they meant it because they had the brain space and calm to direct their energy rather than feeling they somehow outside their body looking in.
They stood like the stage belonged to them.
They became undeniable.

Imagine Madonna awkwardly fumbling with her hands and giggling nervously.
Exactly.

She has learned how to channel confidence- That’s not magic. That’s embodied skill.

🧘‍♀️ Stillness Is a Power Move

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do on stage is... stop moving.

Plant your feet.
Say the thing.
Breathe.

Stillness is uncomfortable for the over-performer. But it speaks volumes.

It tells your audience:
“I don’t need to run. I’m not hiding. I mean this.”

Because you are not prey.

🎯 Your Body: Not an Ornament. An Instrument.

When people freeze on stage, it’s often because they’ve started treating their body like a mannequin. Something to decorate and manage.

But your body is not the wrapping paper around your message.
It is the message. At least it speaks the message and transmits it.

When you cooperate with it - rather than wrangle it into submission - you stop performing.
You start transmitting.

And transmission is not just some new age term it’s the available energy from a speaker that moves the audience.

CTA: Speak From the Neck Down

✨ Your presence doesn’t come from charisma alone.
It comes from integration.
From knowing what to do with your energy.
From turning awkward limbs into language.

The question isn’t what to do with your hands.
It’s whether your presence does the talking -before you open your mouth.

Most leaders sound confident.
Fewer look it.
Even fewer embody it.

And the room can tell.

When your gestures land like decisions,
when your stillness holds weight,
you don’t need gimmicks.

You just walk in,
speak up,
and the moment answers to you.

That edge?
I help leaders find it.